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Two Lives Woven Together: Sugar's Legacy | | By Carol Einarsson | 01/13/2010 | Category: Various Other Articles | | | If you follow RJO on Twitter or know me on Facebook, you've likely already heard the news. Monday afternoon, we had to say goodbye to our beloved Sugar. Despite recent issues she'd had, we were remarkably unprepared for the loss.
It's taken me some time to put into words what Sugar meant to us because I feel so strongly that she was placed into our lives with intent and design.
Colby was just four years old when his life turned upside down. He lost his dad, his house, his room, his backyard sandbox... life as he knew it would be changed forever as the two of us moved into an apartment.
I'd gone and put a deposit on the place a couple of days earlier, and when I toured the apartment, there was a cat inside. The manager said the girl that was moving out was getting settled and then coming back for the cat. But the day I took Colby to see our new place, the cat was still there. As we stood in the kitchen, we heard a meow coming from the cupboard. Opening the door, there she was. She walked out as if her turn to hide was over, and now the game would begin again. She stood up on her hind legs to greet Colby, rubbing her face on him and purring as if to say, "I've been waiting for you."
We expressed interest in adopting the cat if she had been abandoned, and the following day, the manager called us with a story that changed Colby's life.
It seems the cat had, in fact, been abandoned, but not without great thought and planning. The girl who lived in the apartment had left her in the care of the maintenance man, with food and litter because she wasn't able to take pets to her new place. She was faced with taking her to the humane society and hoping for the best. But before that happened, the girl had a dream. She dreamed that she left the cat behind, and the new residents of the apartment would love the cat.
And so it was. Her dream came true, and Sugar gripped Colby's heart at first sight. Call it what you will, but to us it was (and will forever be) "a God thing." At a time when Colby had lost so much of the normalcy in his life, a cat that would spend the rest of her life giving her love and loyalty to him, walked in.
Through all of life's changes and challenges, Sugar has been by Colby's side. The other cats were "the other cats", but Sugar was HIS cat.
So many things made her uniquely loved. She had a mark on her face that looked like a mole. I think she thought it made her a movie star. She would strut from room to room, and like an elegant feminine starlett with a white gloved hand bent at the wrist, she would hold her tail straight up, with just the tip bent over.
When she sat, she would do so with her front paws together, and while she had one white arm and one black, the black sort of spilled from one to the other in a seemless flow so unless you looked closely, you couldn't see the separation in her front feet. (If you look closely, you can see it when she's lying down doing a little web-surfing on my laptop.)
January 11th is the day we said goodbye to Sugar, but it's also the day, six years ago, that we said hello to Duke. Like a tornado blowing unexpectedly into town, so did Duke blow into the lives of three unsuspecting cats. Earnhardt was annoyed (and could have kicked his butt any time she wanted to), Conrad was indifferent, but Sugar was tolerant. I don't know what he expected to find different each time, but Duke would routinely sniff Sugar not in a way you'd expect, but rather, he'd take his big long yellow nose and shove it right into her side with one big inhale to take in the aroma du feline. For some reason, she allowed this activity to continue, but never without a look on her face that seemed to say, "What, AGAIN??"
She seemed to know, though, that Duke just wanted a friend. Especially after it was just the two of them. I don't think she ever would have admitted it, but she didn't mind being Duke's pal. When she'd be curled up on the couch he would sometimes try and sneak up to her for a snuggle. He would start at one side of the couch and work his way, inch by inch, towards her until he was touching her. She would pretend not to notice, but I think she knew. And I think she liked it.
As many habits as Duke picked up from Sugar (the cat-like bathing that he does), she picked up from him. It wasn't unusual to walk into the bathroom and find her drinking out of the toilet, ignoring the bowl of water three feet away on the floor. Her toilet-drinking seemed in direct opposition to her otherwise meticulous drinking manners. When she did drink out of a bowl, she would first scoop up the water in the palm of her hand and lift it to her mouth to drink. Over and over she would do this as though it was far more civilized than merely shoving ones mouth into the bowl. She reminded me of my grandmother eating soup in a proper English way.
Each night as she would nap on the back of the couch, I would open the window just a crack for her. Despite the sub-zero temperatures, she would put her nose right in the gap and breathe in the cold air with a sense of delightful contentment.
When she wasn't feeling well around Christmas, I opened the window wide enough for her to crawl in the deep sill and feel the cold air across her whole body. I tried putting a blanket around her thin frame to keep her warm, but she shed the blanket and let me know she was not an old lady needing a shawl to keep the draft off her neck. Just the day before we said goodbye to her, Colby let her more fully enjoy the cold she craved and allowed her to explore the snow. She was shoulder-deep, and still sat down in it to enjoy this new experience. Coming home without her and seeing her paw prints in the snow was bittersweet. So glad she had the experience, but so sad that soon the evidence will melt away forever.
When she wasn't enjoying the cold, or maybe because she enjoyed the cold, Sugar's other favorite place to nap was on the DVR. Whether it was the hum or the heat (I suspect the latter), she would curl up and nap for hours. Sometimes her paw would hang over and eclipse the sensor, making it impossible to change the channel on the TV. Other times, she would change the channel on her way up or down from her perch. I think she learned to do that just to annoy the dog during the day.
There was something special in the way Colby held Sugar. When he was younger, he held her cradled in his arm like you'd hold a contented baby. As he got older, he would hold her over his shoulder as if he were now burping the same baby. She would snuggle up into his neck, and sometimes I know I saw even more contentment on his face than hers.
We now realize the trouble she had back in April and again in mid-December were likely strokes, with the more recent one being the worst. It might sound strange, but I asked her not to die on Christmas. Okay, I even told her that if she did, we'd prop her up on the couch and pretend she was sleeping until the day after. I think she understood. She rebounded from stroke symptoms that made her appear to have a broken back. She went from dragging her immobile back legs six inches at a time before collapsing, to being able to walk and jump again. She was back on her DVR perch, back on the couch, back in the window with the cold air in her face.
She seemed to have cheated it again, and cashed in one more of the nine lives. She got better. She was eating and drinking, and there was rejoicing in the house when I found traces of litter in the toilet because that meant she was back to her old self again and drinking from the big bowl.
I think she took all she had to live through Christmas for us, but when she stopped eating Friday night, I knew it wasn't good. I knew the chicken soup in a medicine dropper wasn't going to accomplish a healing miracle.
Monday we had to say goodbye.
Sometimes things happen in such a way that we just can't deny there is orchestration in the world. I believe that orchestration is God, and God knew what a little boy whose life was torn apart needed. The comfort that Sugar brought to that boy through every happiness and sorrow in his life is a cherished gift. She cannot be replaced, because memories of her are woven throughout the lifetime memories that he will always have of his childhood.
Thank you, Sugar, for all you've been to us.
God brought you to us and you lived His purpose with grace and loyalty.
| | | Comments: | | | Sorry to hear about your loss Carol. I've had many pets come through my life. Each time saying goodbye is tough but that sorrow is so outweighed by the joy that each pet brought to my life. You kind of know that's the deal when you get a pet and that's not a bad thing. I would much rather outlive my pet than have my pet outlive me. Wondering what would become of them and if they'd be taken care of properly in my absence. That would be the saddest prospect of all. So this is what you signed up for when you took Sugar under your wing. Fortunately you have lots of good memories and your life is better for it. |
| | I,too said goodbye, just before Christmas to
a furry friend.. Buttons of Buttons & Beau, is no long with us...So you can imagine what your article did to me....Please accept my condolances, I also, understand...Thank you, BillB, you put it well!! STiLL heartbreaking.. |
| | Oh my God, I think I'm gonna puke!!!
Someone rescue the DINGO!!! |
| | | What a great piece! I'm so sorry for you loss Carol and Colby. Losing a pet is never easy, especially one as incorporated into the family as Sugar seemed to be. |
| | @Corky88Fan,
There are two types of people... those that treat pets like animals or livestock and those that treat them like members of the family or children. Perhaps treating an animal like a person is silly but that's the way it is. It is clear on what side of the fence you live. |
| | I too have had to say goodbye to some awesome pets and each time when I think of getting another one I wonder...do I really want to put myself through this again...and after a few days or weeks, the answer is always yes because the joy & love they bring is worth the pain at the end. My heart goes out to you & Colby.
@corky88fan...my heart goes out to you too that you do not know the joy & love that animals can give to you since your heart is closed to that idea. |
| | so sorry for your loss Carol. Pets become part of our family, and it is a very real hurt when they leave us.
My prayers are with you and Colby. |
| | Carol and Colby,
I am sorry for your loss. I agree with Bill B that the love and comfort we receive from -- and give to -- pets, and the happy memories with which they leave us, far outweigh the sorrow of parting from them. |
| | | I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved kitty of 18 years about 3 years ago, after strokes that left her blind and her back legs weak. I still miss her to this day. Even though a new kitty has moved in, she will always have a special place in my heart, just like Sugar will have in Colby's. I believe our pets wait for us at the bridge in heaven, and meet us there when we arrive, and have fun hunting while they wait! Prayers of comfort at this time. Thanks for sharing Sugar's story. |
| | So sorry for your loss Carol. You're in my prayers. Thanks for sharing Sugar's story.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... |
| | I have lost some of the most beautiful caring creatures on earth down through they years. Each holds such a special place in your heart.
The unconditional love they give will never be felt by Corky88fan. That is sad. |
| | @ Bill B; rocketgirl; luvjunebug8, et al...
Methinks that you are mis-reading Corky88fan. |
| | | Pets can be such a wonderful blessing. THank you for sharing your's with us. |
| | @mikeyfan,
I was under the impression that the dingo no longer needed "rescuing". If that's not the case then I see your point and I apologize to Corky88fan.
I read that comment as "all this sappiness over a pet makes me sick". Although I could see how reading about a sad event could also make one sick if they cared. |
| | Sorry for your loss Carol, but I know you will treasure all the great memories of Sugar. Terrific pics too..thanks for sharing.
mikeyfan, methinks you are waaaay wrong. |
| | My deepest sympathies Carol and Colby. Thank you for sharing your wonderful and touching story about Sugar. I truly believe this was a God thing. God will send us comfort when we are hurting... and that comfort can come in many different ways.
Pets become part of our families... I know mine are. We lost our sweet poodle Chloe last July. It was extremely hard, especially for my 10yr old son. God blessed us with Roxy, a sweet puppy... who is now my son's best bud! God knows how to fill the void, he will do the same for you and Colby. ((HUGS))
|
| | | Carol my sympathies to you and your family. It's been almost 2 years since we lost Streak, he suffered for years with digestive problems and it was not unexpected. I had been worried for months on how my son would take it, yet as we stood in the vets office I was the blubbering idiot. All those years of trying new and creative ways to provide him enough nutrition and I finally lost the battle. Streak has been replaced by Frost and Poe, they are everything that my son wanted in a pet (Streak was his in name only, he was his own man um cat, independent and a loner). They on the other hand sleep with him, play fetch like a dog and sit in his lap the minute he sits down. The loss is hard but the pain does fade. |
| | On behalf of all of us in the family, I share in the condolences to the entire family.
Miss Active Color Matrix. |
| | @Bill B and Pamm in MI...
methinks you just don't get it.
I always thought this was a 'racing' site...
I know; Carol... "get a hobby !"...
|
| | Dear Carol,
That was a wonderful testimonial to the love that Colby and Sugar and you all together shared! THANK YOU for sharing with your friends that tribute. I cried for your loss!
Sugar was an awesome friend who deserves all the CHEERS you just gave her! Hugs and loves to you and Colby, forever.
@tknight2009
loved the Rainbow Crossing! I know it's true and someday I and the hubby will be reunited with all our sweet pets that have gone on before, just waiting for us, Party!
@mikeyfan
No,YOU don't get it. This is a site for friends and family, besides racing.I remember one article Carol was worrying what to put on her mother's birthday cake and she sent out word to her friends and family on site. I like how Carol keeps it personal. She has such LOVE abounding. Makes it a circle and I feel like we are best friends.
Sure, Carol gives great racing stuff for us to read about, bless her heart! but in the end it's about her ahsome creativity and her team that helps make her website like FAMILY. Duh. Sugar was part of that team that made the whole.
A moment of silence and great gratitude for what Sugar brought into Carol and Colby's lives when it was going into the tube, bless her darling feline heart for her strength and her heart, for the Humans that she adopted.
In my heart Sugar is a champion!
~~~Deb |
| | Thanks for all your kind words. We're both doing well in her absence, though last night the dingo finally noticed, and it was a little sad when he went looking for her. Sniffing out her trail, looking in each of her known hideaways, and not finding her. I think he must know, now.
mikeyfan,
Sorry you were offended that this "racing site" that I own stepped off the track for a day... during the off season.
C |
| | @mikeyfan and others,
I suggest that you go to Jayski's first and use his "racing article links" if coming to this site and finding a story that isn't racing related is that big of a deal to you. If you notice there was no link to this article yesterday because the story wasn't racing related. Let Jayski filter out the non-racing stories for you and then you won't be so put out.
I'll be the first to admit that I don't embrace all of Carol's non-racing related posts but I just don't read them. And if I do read them I just turn the page without commenting on them. It is her site and she can put anything on there she wants. |
| | First of all, my deepest condolences to Carol, Colby, Duke, and everyone who knew and loved Sugar. A while back, considering the route that our dog Sally took from Alabama to our fair city, I was convinced that we don't find pets to adopt. Pets find us. Somehow, Sally knew that we needed another sweet little girl in our lives, and did whatever it took to join us. Reading your story, Carol, there is no doubt of this.
Second of all, I'm glad that this isn't "just" a racing site. Racing isn't just cars going around in circles. This is a sport, and it's about the people: the people who race, the people who love the sport, and the people (and pets) who love them. "Just" talking about racing would be boring as crap. It's moments like this that set RJO apart from most of the other sites -- it's about the friendships first, and the racing second.
And, yes, dogs and cats go to Heaven. At least, I hope so. If I can't see my best friends when I get there, I don't know if I want to go.
--Mike. |
| | Carol, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm still grieving over having to make the decision to put my feline companion Tuxedo to sleep after 15 years of friendship, and that was almost 2 years ago.
We got two "pound purries", Franklin and Emma, to try to replace him, but he could not be replaced.
My prayers are with you for the Lord's comfort.
Mike Irwin
MotorSportsNews.net
Home of the Stock Car Gazette e-zine |
| | Carol & Colby - I am very sorry for your loss.
My childhood pet was a dog not a cat. But her name was Sugar. I am far removed from a high school senior which is when we put her down, but I will never forget my Sugar. She did not rescue me the same way that your Sugar rescued Colby, but I got her when I was 5 and she got me through some of those very difficult teenage years. I still miss her.
I take comfort in knowing that both Sugars will be waiting for us at the Bridge.
Hugs,
Deb |
| | | Just reflecting on it . . . the day Miss Active's mentor cat was mauled to death was a pain. We got over it but she became an indoor cat. With the March for Life tomorrow, and having had dinner with Suzanne Vitadamo, Miss Active and I agreed to a covenant where she would not be put down by a vet. Only God can call her home. My cousin's German Shepherd Warrior has an ailing hip, but still with his flaws he is still at joy. To Miss Active, a day living, even with flaws, is still a day of joy. And there is a little RC-DE convenant in our promise. |
| | @DebM
from another Deb, we rock! :)
@Bobby #26
cheers to your covenant, yet pray you give your beloveds their wishes and let them go Home when they need to.
It's not always about us :)
@Carol and Colby
THANKS for sharing your hearts! You make it all human and caring, just like we are one big happy famiy, RIGHT On! RJO sings in all thangs good news, and personal and sad too! Like this huge combo personal emotional pizza pie~!
Luv ya like crazy!
Deb
You could write what ya'll had for lunch.....and I'd still get a postitive jolt in the arm!
--Deb |
| | Carol, so sorry for your loss. We lost our sweet Tommy just before Christmas....we too feel your sorrow. Your story was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us. It was so sweet how she came into your life. They bring such joy and it's so hard to let go. I hope your memories of her bring some comfort.
. |
| | | Carol, I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost 4 loving creatures within 4 years, and my husband doesn't want another. We just spoil our friends and neighbors cats and dogs, but we miss our Sandy, Thumper( who became my husband's cat), Bootsie, and J.R., who adopted us after we lost the first 3. Thank you for telling us about Sugar, and may God bless you. I think we will see them in Heaven, too. |
| | I believe heaven is a people place and that pets do not go to heaven. I believe pets just die off and they do not have a spirit or a soul like people. I think pets are like plants and trees and when they die that is the end.
Sad that they die thou. |
| | Newman02- I have friends that will agree with you, but I just don't know. My dogs have all been gifts from God, and I just don't know if I believe that He wouldn't want them back when they are done here.
I sure hope they are waiting for me there when I get there. :) |
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